letter to a dress

Dear Favorite Vintage Summer Dress,

We need to talk. I'm so disappointed in you. After all I've done for you. Rescued you when you were abandoned at the thrift store - tossed out like trash. I found you, brought you home, cleaned you up and loved you. Oh, how I loved you. Need we count how many times I've worn you? Really now. Many. Or how many pairs of green shoes I've bought with the express purpose of wearing with you? Oh, so many. Or how about the endless number of times I've cleaned you ever so delicately with my own two hands in the bathtub, using only the mildest of soap so as to keep your crispy vintage cotton happy? That's right, a lot.

We've had some good times together, my friend. All those picnics by the beach, dinners out, summer barbeques. I could go on. Oh, and shall we even talk about how carefully I've protected you from the evils of red wine? Yes, maybe now you're beginning to remember. That's the only explanation I can think of - that somehow you just forgot how great we were together. There's no other excuse for your behavior - I mean, I so delicately packed you away last fall, dreamed about you in the winter, and all the while you were sitting in my closet shrinking on me? I feel so betrayed. Oh, and don't you dare blame this on the daily pint of coconut ice cream from Maples this winter. This has nothing to do with that, nor with those Standard Baking Co. chocolate croissants. Nope, clearly, the blame belongs on you and your shrinking self. Clearly.

So, now that I've jogged your memory about our past, perhaps you're feeling a little guilt? a little remorse? I'm a forgiving kind of girl, and I miss you terribly...so let's make a deal. How about I put you right back in the closet for a little rest - a little time to think - a little time to g-r-o-w (about an inch or, maybe two while you're at it). And next week, I'll pull you out, slip you on, we'll head out on the town, and we'll just forget this whole thing ever happened. Whaddya say?

in hopes of a reconciliation,
your ever-loving wearer

PS. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. While you're in there, thinking things through and all, would you mind having a little chat with your closet neighbors? It seems that you've been spreading your sassiness to everyone around you. Tsk, tsk.

Comments

[Sarah]

I just *hate* it when my clothes shrink in the closet!

[Diana]

I'll write the same letter to my favorite blue skirt and my dark green capris!

[Rani]

When she does shrink (the dress, of course) take her to town for an Icecream!

[Anna]

Oh dear! For my Abi-Ball (I think its similar to the American Highschool Prom) I got a wonderful, fifties-like dress in rosé with white polkadots from my parents as a present. I felt like a princess. About only half a year later I tried to try it on and it had shrinked significantly. But as it had shrinked at a place were I myself absolutely did not want to shrink, it was quite ok with me ;-)
By the way, I have one question about your receipe from last post. Is the rhubarb raw or do you have to cook it before using it for the muffins?

[ellen]

Perhaps you should not put it in the closet with the other clothes. Many of my summer clothes have joined together in their quest of shrinking against me!

[sarah]

What a naughty little dress, cute but very naughty!

[Bex]

ARRRGGGUUHHHH! Would you write to my entire wardrobe please? Pleeeeezzzze?

[heather]

a very persnickety little bunny dress i say, the nerve!

i always thought a pint was the serving size? no?

[chez shoes]

It's a clothing conspiracy, I tell you - many of my summer faves have joined forces in the Shrinking Movement with your dress. In fact, that would apply to most of the contents of my closet...

Nothing I own compares to the fabulousness of that bunny dress - dear bunny dress, please listen to your owner and grow an inch or two!

[Katie J]

I thought my clothes were the only ones to do that. I always prefer it when they get bigger on me.

[lyn]

Actually it's not the dress' fault.
Tiny little dressmaking fairies are to blame. They silently slip into wardrobes and closets in the still of the night, and invisibly snip little pieces of pretty fabrics to make gowns for their friends to wear at The Summer Garden Ball.

[Julia]

ha!

[Mama Urchin]

Oh dear.

[jean]

oh, i love this. You know she'll come around. And p.s. Soulemama. You have a beautiful bod. It loves you so love it back.

[Nancy]

love this post...love this dress
you've treated her ever so kindly
i just know you two will work it out.

[lera]

what a riot!

i sure hope she listens to you.

[colleen]

oh my dear.

[Heather]

love it!

[jonah]

this reminds me of what my bf tells me when i start complaning about how my clothes don't fit anymore. "you haven't gained a pound! your clothes shrinks every time you wash them" , he tells me.

he wouldn't lie to me now would he? bad washer and dryer!

[Stefani]

I think your clothes have been talking to my clothes. :-)

[Madeline R]

LOL! I say show her who is boss! Add some other vintagey material to her? Aren't seamstresses really good at that? I had this rebellion happen in my closet a few years ago. I gave them all away to the too-skinnies and started fresh. No rebellions since.

[kristin]

oh no. she'll come around. vintage threads can so be that way ;)
(love that she totally matches your studio too)

[Joy]

Oh my goodness...I laughed so hard I nearly cried! :) Thanks for sharing your dresses' sassiness this am.

[Pam]

I can not tell you how many times I have had this same conversation with my favorite jeans. They always seem to come around, usually when that ice cream goes away. You made me smile today. Thank you.

[manda]

I'm telling you it's a world wide epidemic! All of my clothes keep shrinking and I just don't understand it.
I'm sure she'll come round though - she looks like she's in a much better class than my dresses.

[beki]

Too funny, Amanda!

[Wendy]

That is hilarious! I did actually have a dress that I shrunk and my hubby asked if I was sure that it wasn't me that grew. What guts he has.

The only reason I have any desire to loose weight (it's been creeping up lately- years since the dress shrinking incident) is so I can fit back into my favorite clothes. I refuse to get rid of them, they just sit sadly in a box in my basement. Sad.

[angela]

I would be writing for days if I decided to "have a word" with my closet, in fact I think it is the closet's fault and that "HE" is spreading his orneriness? with the clothing! Your post was too funny.

[Petula]

I think this must be a trend that all the kids...errr clothes...are into these days, because the exact same thing happened around here. I wish they'd realize how ridiculous they look - just because everyone is doing it doesn't make it cool.

[Julia Freund]

I can hear her say 'yesyesyes, right away'.

But you know, having clothes that grow bigger are no fun, either. Mine refuse to listen, and I can't eat ice cream. So maybe we shall have to part one of these days.

[brandie]

i am totally laughing!
i think it's actually some sort of virus, spreading to all the clothes in Maine! what are we to do??
:)

[jennifer]

oh my, laughing my ass off. and it seems your clothes may have been communicating with mine. perhaps there is a vintage clothing blog underworld of which we are as yet unaware. they have social network and have been plotting this mutiny all winter. hmmm.

and never ever feel any quilt about green shoe purchases. it's yet another way to support the green movement, i say. :-)
have a wonderful weekend.

[Tania Ho]

lol, every summer I have that same talk :)

[Amanda T.]

Oh you made me laugh, how true.I seem to have this conversation on a daily basis with my defiant clothes. Thankyou for brightening up a gloomy day.

[Aimee]

i am just laughing and laughing! thanks for bringing some humor to my dull-no-more morning!

[tricia]

this is so cute

[Kim]

The nerve of our clothes to shrink on us! I don't think it is just plaguing Maine...it is all the way in Utah too! And here I thought I was just getting fatter. Thanks for the explaination Amanda!

[homemakerang]

can you talk to my maternity clothes too as well as my "normal clothes", PLEASE? You have such a way with words!

[linsey]

I love this.

[Dana]

Oh my goodness. That was hysterical! I get it.

[Grace]

Hilarious!!

[m]

Smiling and nodding with recognition.

[Rainbook]

Too cute! I evicted many of my sassy tenants in a giant Crapaganza sale. They've had to find a new life after betraying me....... Shannon

[Kelli]

Oh, how much I loved this post!! I was feeling grumpy from nasty weeding and now I'm happy again! LOL When your dress is done talking to the other things in your closet, send it over to my
house. ;0)

Kelli

[Cheryl]

That's too funny - thanks for the giggle, Amanda!

[Sally]

I'm inclined to agree with Lyn and lay the blame at the oh so diminutive feet of the dressmaking fairies, as my entire closet as been hit by the mysterious and stealthy shrinking virus, and hit hard too. That could mean that the virus is working it's way from the west coast to the east. Ladies, beware of the creeping closet menace.

Picking up a chocolate croissant to mull it over with.

:)

[sadira]

oh dear...I think my closet has been in contact with yours (darned chocolate coconut kisses aside) Sigh.

[Ali]

Great post :)

[Sarah]

hehe! too funny, silly dress!

[Nelly]

Could be a worldwide conspirasy of garments?
Could be... a virus. It drives them crazy. In Greece things are tragic.
Could you explain that to my husband?