letter of surrender
A vase of pink tulips will have to stand in for my white flag because it's time to admit defeat!
This month had already promised to be a challenging one before it even started. But on top of the expected came a whole bunch of unwelcome and unpleasant unexpected. And here I find myself not quite to the end of it yet, and feeling stretched in too-many different directions. I would try to give you the analogy I've been using to describe this feeling to friends - something involving silly putty, a brick wall, and five limbs snapping. But yeah, I think I scare people with that one...(and really, I'm okay. Just a little dramatic.) Suffice it to say, though, these last 11 days before turning in the manuscript are destined to be a little nutty no matter what. I hear (and remember) that it's just a rule of writing a book (is this comforting? not particularly). Piles of finished projects, piles of unfinished projects, piles of paper, piles of edits, piles of late minute ideas, and piles of doubts. Par for the proverbial course.
So rather than take you down the path of nutty right along with me (though the company would be lovely), I think it's best to take a little breather here. Ah. Feels better just saying so. Maybe I'll pop in with a picture or an update so you know I'm still kicking. Or - if we're really lucky - maybe a guest blog from my favorite peeps will appear here and there. If we ask nicely, I bet they'll do it. They're pretty swell like that - refilling my coffee cup, taking away the coffee cup and telling me to drink water, reminding me to breathe, and telling me ever so gently that it's time to take a shower. How many days has it been, again? Right. I should do that. Shower and stuff.
Thanks for hanging in there - you're pretty swell yourselves - patiently tolerating my chatter about the second book before you've even seen the first. It's coming so soon, friends. Thank you, and I'll see you later next week!
peace,
amanda
p.s. I've got this (I think I can...she says in a quivering voice), and then this one in my head. (That would be Cheap Trick, a cheesy 80's cartoon, and a third person reference all in one sentence. That's the kind of nutty I'm talking about.)




















This too will pass. Breathe.
Posted by: QALBALLAH | February 19, 2008 at 07:37 AM
ah, smart choice, soulemama. see you on the other side.
Posted by: jean | February 19, 2008 at 07:37 AM
that is an absolutely gorgeous photo! you have such an eye for beauty.
Posted by: val | February 19, 2008 at 07:39 AM
Amanda~
If you see this, can you please tell me if you received the 2 boxes I sent to you?
Blessings,
Beth
Posted by: Beth | February 19, 2008 at 07:42 AM
We will be patiently waiting for your return and sending you good karma wishes. Enjoy this journey.
Posted by: Tricia | February 19, 2008 at 07:52 AM
In through the nose, out through the mouth. Hang in there, it'll be amazing!
Posted by: Eren | February 19, 2008 at 07:54 AM
When you think or dream of writing a book, it sounds so dreamy. But reality has it as something opposite of that. Take care. East chocolate and drink some red wine.
Posted by: jen | February 19, 2008 at 07:58 AM
Oh, go do what you gotta do! We'll miss you but can't wait for the books.
Posted by: Lisa Z | February 19, 2008 at 08:00 AM
Aw, honey, I'm pulling for you! You'll make it! You will!
Showers are overrated anyway :-)
Posted by: Stefani Austin | February 19, 2008 at 08:01 AM
no worries, you do what you need to do. we will be right here for you when you want company again.
Posted by: Molly | February 19, 2008 at 08:04 AM
Well, please take some "you" time on your breather. I think a bubble bath with a glass of wine is in order after the manuscript is mailed. And please please promise to come back to us!
[And I'm asking for a guest blogger as well. What would I do without my daily dose of inspiration from this blog?!]
Good Luck!
Posted by: Deardeedle | February 19, 2008 at 08:07 AM
Well, those flowers are just lovely. And us? We'll wait.
Posted by: maya | February 19, 2008 at 08:07 AM
Hang in there, press on and do what you do with amazing grace. It will all be worth it in the end. Don't forget to breathe. Take good care and see you when you come up for air!!
Posted by: Kate | February 19, 2008 at 08:10 AM
i feel you "pain"...really i do! :)
Posted by: betz | February 19, 2008 at 08:15 AM
take care.
Posted by: eireann | February 19, 2008 at 08:17 AM
Amanda, please accept "You make my day" blog award. You really make my day!
Your words are always so inspiring! :) Congratulations!
Posted by: Pina | February 19, 2008 at 08:20 AM
with you:) Jeff always takes my coffee cup away and brings me water. How am I suppose to work with water?
xoAM
Posted by: anna maria | February 19, 2008 at 08:25 AM
yes you can... we've got your back here, amanda. take all the time needed. too bad we can't virtually help others fold laundry, wash the dishes, care for little ones, cook meals. you get the idea. oh how i would if i could... and i'd send handmade soap for the occasional shower as well... occasional. peace
Posted by: heather | February 19, 2008 at 08:27 AM
may the next 11 days bring you loads of inspiration and certainty and accomplishment. and may the 12th day bring you peace - and a nice long hot bath.
Posted by: emily | February 19, 2008 at 08:36 AM
hugs, amanda. take care of yourself, ok?
Posted by: erin | February 19, 2008 at 08:37 AM
Even though you may seem frazzled, your writing still has an air of calm to it(no really it does)! Your just at the end! You can do this!! Don't worry about us, we'll still be be here when it's all said and done, and that wonderful manuscript has turned into a beautiful book found on so many dinning room/crafting tables around the world. I know, like anyone, this is a dream come true for you, so hang in there girl, your almost there!!
Posted by: greenemother | February 19, 2008 at 08:48 AM
the flowers are gorgeous!!! i'm thinking i need to get myself another bunch to keep the promise of spring in sight.
sending you love as you focus your energies. i'll look forward to your return in march. ahhhhhhhh, march, that's closer to spring too ;-) ...AND only one month away from the release of your first book, which i'm ever so excited about!!!
Posted by: Kirsten Michelle | February 19, 2008 at 08:53 AM
Wishing you inspiration, confidence and ...some yoga sessions.
You will make it happen. You did already [with book number one that your readers are so looking forward to get so so soon. It will be the same with book number 2.
We will all miss you and your mama's sweet wisdom.
Bonne ecriture, et a tres bientot.
Posted by: Lila | February 19, 2008 at 08:54 AM
Hope the breather brings you the peace and clarity to get through the next 11 days. Chocolate always helps:)
Posted by: janine | February 19, 2008 at 08:57 AM
good for you for seeing where you are at this moment
and then
for doing what you need to do to make space
we'll all be here when you come back to us
xo
denise f
Posted by: denise f in c'ville, va | February 19, 2008 at 08:59 AM
take care of yourself amanda. can't wait to see you back here in a few days. it would be lovely to have a little guest blogging too!
Posted by: julia | February 19, 2008 at 09:06 AM
Just an encouragement: I can't WAIT to buy the first book (!!!).......and I did not know there was to be a second already! Wonderful!
Posted by: Sarah m | February 19, 2008 at 09:10 AM
I just pre-ordered your book on Amazon.
You're the best.
Take your time. I know book 2 will be wonderful.
Posted by: abbyjane | February 19, 2008 at 09:11 AM
That is the prettiest surrender flag I have seen. "I know you can...I know you can" breathe, coffee, breathe, coffee - daydreams make for good quick naps.
Posted by: coffeechris | February 19, 2008 at 09:17 AM
The crazy life surrounds us all. This time of year it is especially easy to get dragged down. Best wishes on swimming through. And I was so excited to hear another book in progress. I am anxiously awaiting the first. I love your blog and look forward to next week when you are ready to get back to informing us all on you many life adventures.
Posted by: Ericka B Traven | February 19, 2008 at 09:26 AM
You can do it Amanda, we're here cheering you on!
Posted by: beki | February 19, 2008 at 09:36 AM
"Mama's alright...."
Posted by: Jenna | February 19, 2008 at 09:37 AM
Please take care of yourself and don't worry about us. Although we will all miss our daily dose of Soulemama! Looking forward to getting book 1 in the post soon and to hearing all about book 2 on the blog when you are finished. Best wishes from across the pond.
Posted by: Ruth | February 19, 2008 at 09:42 AM
i was just telling my husband: i am past my limit. like, five miles past. past the sign that says beware of wild boars. past the sign that says rocky precipice. past the sign that says road ends.
UGH. FEBRUARY.
Posted by: Julie @ Letter9 | February 19, 2008 at 09:57 AM
Don't worry about us! We know you love to blog but we also know how much work it is and your focus should be else where. I personally would love to hear from SoulePapa if he has the time but for now, we are happy for your craziness and will wait patiently for as long as you want us to.
Posted by: jennifer | February 19, 2008 at 10:10 AM
push those piles of doubts out of your way, mama! you are on the right path, and everyone knows it, and everyone is cheering you on from the sidelines. pace yourself, drink plenty of water, and breathe as you step over the piles of edits, the piles of papers, the piles of piles. revel in the loves of your life, you are changing their worlds one sentence at a time! hugs to you my friend.
Posted by: camerashymomma | February 19, 2008 at 10:27 AM
I feel like this, and I don't even have a manuscript due!
I clicked through to the Cheap Trick video and my girls (4yrs and 22mos) started dancing all around the room. Maybe it will be my new theme song?
Hang in there.
Posted by: Amy J | February 19, 2008 at 10:44 AM
I am clapping for you from here. I hate feeling streched too thin so take all the time you need.
Posted by: Crystal | February 19, 2008 at 10:45 AM
book number two??? how wonderful!!
Posted by: jen | February 19, 2008 at 10:56 AM
wishing you luck on book 2 - hang in there!
Posted by: Kim | February 19, 2008 at 11:24 AM
you CAN do it! you CAN! taking a breather is a very good idea. i know these last days are going to be very productive for you. good luck my friend.
Posted by: brandie | February 19, 2008 at 11:45 AM
Hang in there! The end is in sight.
We are here for you, and we are so excited to reap the fruits of your hard work.
Have a restful break.
Anna
Posted by: Lasso the Moon | February 19, 2008 at 12:00 PM
Take your time. Your only pressure is yourself:)
Pulled in many directions.... Honey I feel your pain!!!! Take a break and go somewhere you enjoy most.
mamakopp
Posted by: Lorilee | February 19, 2008 at 12:14 PM
Good luck and we'll see you on the other side.
Posted by: Josie | February 19, 2008 at 12:26 PM
peace to you....
Posted by: sarah | February 19, 2008 at 12:41 PM
Just remember how amazing all this is!(I'm sure you do) xxx
Posted by: Kristy | February 19, 2008 at 01:03 PM
Oh, I have been looking forward to the appearance of Soule Papa... please tell him write. I started reading during the last Soule Papa appearance.
Posted by: Sherah | February 19, 2008 at 01:08 PM
By all means, go! do! finish!
We'll all be here for you when you return.
Coffee, water, a hot shower, sleep, a brisk walk outside, and snacks -- all good things to remember at crunch time. =)
Good luck!
Posted by: Tiffany | February 19, 2008 at 01:14 PM
Thank you for sharing your "nuttiness" with us and reminding us all to step back and take care of ourselves - especially, when we want do it all but are better off doing a little less.
I'm so looking forward to having your books in my home and sharing them with friends and family. Thank you! You are fabulous! Take your time!
Posted by: Sharon | February 19, 2008 at 01:29 PM
Take care, and be gentle on yourself. If you need a boost and something fresh for your positive thinking youtube mantras: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Qae_TUTeGo It's terribly cheesy but it gave me bizarro-80's-karate-strength on a day where I really needed it.
Posted by: Gina Carey | February 19, 2008 at 01:33 PM