It's been a trying week around here. There's a lot going on here this summer - so much more juggling than ever before in our lives. I struggle sometimes in this space, especially as my loves get older, with what's appropriate to share here and what should be left unsaid. Wanting to write my way through things as I do, but wanting to honor the privacy of those around me. I don't mean to be vague or unclear - I'm sorry - there's no great mystery I'm holding back. Just a lot of life that I don't always know how, and if, to fit tidily into this space. Life, and sometimes death too. Last week, we said a very sad goodbye to Banjo, our kitty cat of almost eight years. The first cat we had - a giant love of a thing, and Adelaide's constant companion since the day he showed up at our door asking for a home, she a mere two months old. This week, we arrived home after a long day last week to find him in the road, killed (instantly) mid-hunt (he was after a snake). The heartbreak of that night - the tears from my babes - are something I'll never be able to forget. Nor, though, will I ever be able to forget the other parts of that night - the four oldest (not always inclined to be best of friends) snuggled up, loving on each other all night long. The midnight tea party we had in Banjo's honor - because nobody could sleep - with my grandmother's special tea cups and chamomile tea, tears, and laughter around the table. The day that followed, filled with extra gentleness for one another and art and flowers for Banjo. Nor will I forget the peace that Steve and I felt at the moment that we buried him in the dark of that night - the kids not wanting to see his body as it was. But there, in the dark, were owls hooting and crickets chirping and sleeping chickens and sheep and children - and everything felt okay, even in the sadness and grief for this little cat. Yes, a cat. But we were so glad to spend so many years with him.
As I'm coming to appreciate from moments like this in life, there is great comfort in the small things. The way we gather together to love one another in our sadness - the very definition of family. Putting one foot in front of another in the rhythm of our days - the simple joys. And by these actions, we lead the way for our little ones to keep on keeping on. Moving forward, perhaps changed, perhaps stronger, perhaps with more love to give.
As this summer season winds down, and as the fall schedule appears to be starting right around the corner, we find ourselves committed to fully soaking up all that is summer around these parts. We'll spend the next stretch of days doing all of our favorite summer things together - unplugging, and diving fully into the season. This blog space will be quiet for a few days, but I'll be back next week to continue our conversation. I do so love our ongoing conversation.
Until then, I wish you and yours many beautiful late August days, full of beautiful small moments shared with those you love.