Well, excuse my silence here this week! It turns out there's been a little too much silence in my world, so much so that I hardly know what to do or say. Way back in February when I planned these few summer weeks - the first time all five of my kiddos have been otherwise occupied for most of the day - I had grand plans of productivity. I was eagerly anticipating work hours spent totally uninterrupted. I thought I might paint the floors upstairs. Or maybe I'd garden in silence for a day. Or build a greenhouse in a week! Sew a whole lot of things. Get ahead in my magazine work. I'd definitely at least give the house a deep, deep clean. The kitchen needs new paint.... Oh, the plans.
The reality has been less impressive. I've spent more time aimlessly wandering than I care to admit. Not happily wandering, but wandering in a bit of a bewildered way. What should I do first? What task is possibly worthy enough of this rare and precious time? I've puttered, I've 'wasted' time, and I've never quite settled into a project of any kind - at least not until right before it's time to get in the car to go pick everyone up from their adventures. Nope, nothing amazing. Mostly, I suppose, I've been doing a lot of thinking about all of that. Because I think I've confirmed the thought I've had in the back of my mind for years - and that is that I actually am far more efficient and productive the busier we are. Or maybe that's not accurate, maybe it's just that after all these years of living and working and learning and playing together as a family, we've found some kind of a rhythm that works well for us all. That maybe I do my best work when that work fits into the pockets of time in our days - in and around everything else, with our full life always creeping in just a little bit. I really do like it that way.
So here we are, just four days into this short-lived rhythm and today I decided to cut myself some slack. I got this blog post up - even if it's 10:30 am. I'll get my Taproot work done. I'll prep a really yummy dinner. I'll let go of the idea of doing anything amazing. And I'll ditch the guilt that may appear when it's time to go pick everyone up and I haven't quite done what I thought I might. Instead, I'll trust that moving slowly and doing 'nothing' might just be the very thing I need to do most of all this week. That intention started this morning with a walk around the house. Not because the animals needed to be fed (Steve had done it hours before), or because the kids were leading me (instead they led me to their exciting days!), or because anything at all really required my attention. But just because...and just by myself. Quietly.
It's a good start.