Oh this little one of mine, Adelaide. Not so little really, being twelve now and all. Twelve, can you believe it? I know some of you have been here reading since before she was born and that's just wild isn't it? I like to worry about my little ones, it's a favorite hobby of moms everywhere, I know. Have I served them well? Have I done right by them? Are the choices we've made for them the ones that their adult selves will be happy with? And what about that terrible penmanship - should I worry about that? Ha! It's a never ending list of possible worries, motherhood is. Which is why I'm always grateful for those illuminating moments when I'm reminded that yes, perhaps the penmanship could use some work, and maybe someday they'll have wished we made this or that choice differently, but for the most part? They're going to be just fine! That the young human beings I'm seeing in front of me are going to be a-ok in the world.
The younger kids are home with a nanny and tutor three days a week now while I head into town for Taproot work. It's a juggle of passions - for hearth and home, and community and the work I love and that sustains us. But of course - that juggling certainly has its own opportunity for worry.
Yesterday, Adelaide joined me in Portland for a long day of work, and goodness gracious, I had one of those wonderful gifts of a parenting moment that lasted all day long, reminding me that all is well, it really is. And I can cross a few things off my worry list (penmanship stays). After lugging a bale of hay to the sheep (she's crazy strong from years of that!), she went back inside and put herself together for a day in town. An adorable outfit later ("black" is the color of the year) because these things matter to her greatly these days, and a teeny tiny touch of Mama-approved makeup (we love Living Libations!), she was ready to go. And a day of in-town play and work for her commenced, and I got to marvel at this little girl of mine. She bounced happily between tidying for me and straightening the shop, baking in the kitchen with Lauren, and then totally rocking out the evening prep for our Herbs & Crafts night, fussing about all the little things that I usually fuss about. At the end of the day, I was the one tired and asking to go home, while she was still giggling with all the adult women who surrounded us - amazing herbalists, and dear friends, and farmers and artists and business women, and gah! I got a bit choked up there thinking about all of that. About what a gift it is to have 'aunties' like that in your life at that delicate age, remembering the women who so greatly influenced me in those years. Gentle, powerful women moving through the world with such grace and strength. What a gift.
(PS. Ada and I sporting some goods from the Taproot holiday shop in the photo above. Today is the last day to order in time for holiday shipping in the US!)