(Ignore the vacuum hose, the hammer, and the dust bunnies. This is a process shot and all.)
I used to lock myself in the bathroom with a pint of Ben and Jerry's. I remember it so clearly! And surely I talked about it here back in the day (like here). In our old house, home alone with just little kids all day everyday. Sometimes, I remember feeling touched out, and a little bit stressed out from the physical nature of parenting little ones every day. And sometimes that seemed like the best sanity saving thing to do for myself...and for them. A quick bit of ice cream in the bathroom, the only door that locked in the house. No harm, no foul, and Mama walks out feeling refreshed, right? Right.
This Monday was a stressful parenting day. Teens are hard. They are amazing and awesome and fun and all of that - without a doubt, and I am their biggest champions, I assure you - but just like sometimes awesome babies are hard, sometimes awesome teens are hard too. Or at least parenting them can be hard at times. Really, really hard. I crashed pretty hard on Monday night after dealing with with a whole lot of stuff, and woke up Tuesday morning, extremely grateful that it happens to also be my home day. With work off my plate, and no classes to drive the kids to, I knew just what the day was going to hold the very moment I woke up at 5:30 am to usher my big boys out the door to school.
And that's how I found myself asking Harper to help me move the piano at 6am. We did that, and then about a million other things. From one room to another, out to the barn, in from the barn, up the stairs and down the stairs. It was an epic furniture/house rearrange, one that brought just the messy, dusty, sweaty work that I so obviously needed. It was a cathartic clean, this one. And something that I've had in the back of my head for a while as something to do, a way to make our space work better for who we all are right now in our family life. I thought I was waiting for new furniture to do the job, but Tuesday morning I decided there was no need for new furniture right this minute anyway. Because sometimes all it takes is putting something in a new place to see the whole space differently.
Man, that felt good. So good. And it still feels good, and everyone is happy about the changes. And I'm incredibly grateful that I chose that as a way to work through some of that stress (I feel better now). Maybe it's progress from the ice cream in the bathroom?
Though....I have to tell you about the ice cream in full disclosure. Halfway through the day, I was fading on my moving energy. The kids had long left my project for other play, but I asked them to help me move the last piles of books to the new bookshelf location. "If you can help me finish this up," I told them, "I'll be right back with something fun."
And that's how I found myself sitting at the kitchen table a few hours later with my three littles....and each of them their own pint of Ben and Jerry's.
As it goes.