I think I am coming to realize - though, I may have understood it and written about it before in other ways - that this spot right here is the center of my home. Not only where I spend such a great deal of my time (a great deal)...but the place I go to when I need to find that center of home, and that center of self. Coming home from a few days away and not knowing quite where to begin, arriving home from a day out, following harsh words spoken with those I love, or when I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed or momentarily lost. Landing myself in this spot, rooting my feet firmly on this floor where the varnish is long but gone from the wide pine boards, digging my hands and my heart into making something. Something to nourish the ones I love. And a process that nourishes me in the meantime. This is where I find my center. And where - generally - I can emerge from with a much calmer, connected and centered perspective.
For no particular reason, I found myself in a bit of a wandering mood upon returning home one day recently. There was much to be done for work around the house, but I couldn't focus. Just sitting didn't feel quite right in this given moment. And the children were amazingly all four quite happily occupied in their own transitioning-home activities. Having just discussed all of the above kitchen revelations with a dear friend a few days earlier, I thankfully remembered it....and headed right to the kitchen.
None of the regulars or 'needed' things to be baked felt inspiring to me. I let my fingers wander over the overflowing, double-stacked bookshelf of cookbooks until it landed on this one. Something from my grandmother's collection. Something I think I flipped through upon bringing it home after her passing, but nothing I'd spent a great deal of time on. I started looking through it's pages, determined to make something 'a little different'. And that's when I found these Coffee Crisps by a certain Mae Nellson. They aren't exactly whole grain cooking, but oh, sometimes a treat is in order, I do believe. And, coffee cookies? Intriguing...
I love that baking lends itself to whatever I need from it any given moment. Sometimes, I'm totally present and aware of what's going on right now, and the act of kneading or mixing becomes a meditative act of mindfulness. Sometimes, it's a wonderful chance for daydreaming. Daydreaming about who Miss Mae might have been, precisely when she might have served these cookies. And did she have children who also helped her bake them by trying to sample the sugar? Might she also have felt simultaneously blessed and overwhelmed at times? I wonder all of these things as her cookies begin to come together in front of me.
Of course, these old recipes leave a lot of room for imagination in the meaning as well - this one was summed up in one complete sentence, "one half cup molasses, 1 cup sugar, 1/2 cup lard, 1/3 cup hot coffee, 1 teaspoon soda dissolved in coffee, and 2 cups flour to roll thin." And that's that.
That little blip of a recipe is translated below, with a few changes and tweaks after making these several times now. They've been a hit around the adult family members here (and the eldest boy, too). A perfectly crispy, sweet mid-day treat. If we were neighbors, I'd love to share some with you. But I hope this will do. From Miss Mae and I to you....
Miss Mae's Coffee Crisps
Makes 36 2.5" crisps
1/2 cup molasses
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter, melted
1/2 cup hot coffee
1 tsp baking soda
2 3/4 cups flour
granulated sugar
2.5" biscuit cutter, or juice glass
Preheat oven to 375degrees. Dissolve 1tsp of baking soda in the hot coffee. Combine molasses, sugar, melted butter, and hot coffee mix and stir until combined. Gradually add flour until dough forms. Turn out onto a floured surface and roll thin (to 3/8"). Use a biscuit cutter or juice glass to make 2-3" circles. Place on parchment lined baking sheets. Sprinkle with granulated sugar, if desired. Bake for 14-18 minutes, to desired crispness. Cool on baking racks.
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{Note: This recipe now lives in the "Tutorial & Recipes" section of this website (the link is up above in the banner, too!). There, you'll find most of the recipes, patterns, and tutorials I've shared over the years. In addition, I've been working on categorizing my archives, which you can now see about halfway down the sidebar on the right. I'm 2/3rds of my way through 1700 posts. Oh my. So there is more yet to come. I hope all of this helps makes things a little easier to find around here!}